How to Live Rich, Authentic Lives?

Do you or anyone you know 

  • avoids taking up opportunities.
  • feels unloved and unwanted.
  • blames others for their own mistakes.
  • not being able to deal with normal levels of frustration.
  • negative self-talk and comparisons to others.
  • fear of failure or embarrassment.
  • difficulty making friends.

if you answered yes to any of the above questions, then you will really derive value from this talk.

 A couple of weeks back I did I video on how to raise children with high self esteem. In this video I talked about what is self esteem and why is it important. And how to raise it. So if you have’t seen it, this is a good point to view it. 

But today we are going to take this discussion a step further and explore how a lack of self esteem impacts our life and what can we do about it. And to help us shed some light on this topic, we have Dr Ruta Vyas. 3. Dr Vyas has a a total of 16 years of work experiences in executive coaching, working with senior leaders both Indian nationals and expatriates. She has a PhD in NMIMS in leadership behaviors. She studies how self esteem impacts our behaviour, our attitude and thereby our growth.

How to Establish Healthier Habits?

This is the 2nd episode in the Parenting Series that Veena Jain and I promised. Veena is a renowned Counseling Psychologist and a Relationship Coach. She has recently been awarded life membership to the Counselors Council of India in recognition of continuous work in the field of psychological well-being.

In this episode, we will discuss 3 prominent challenges that parents of children in the age group of 8-12 face:

– Internet addiction

– Unhealthy eating habits

– Lack of routine

And we have a surprise topic at the end of the conversation. But very very critical. Listen on.

If you like what you hear, please don’t forget to subscribe. https://bit.ly/YT_UReInvent

Freedom

This #Independence Day

Spend time pursuing your freedom

Freedom from downer thoughts

Freedom from people who pull you down

Freedom from destructive patterns

Freedom from toxic relationships

Freedom from your inner negative voice

Freedom to pursue your goals

Freedom to pursue your dreams

Freedom to live life on your terms

And once you have done all that,

Free your children

Free your children to live your life

To live life according to your thoughts

 To live your unmet desires

To live your hidden goals

To live the life you couldn’t create

To BE WHO THEY TRULY ARE!

Not your version of them! 

#HappyIndependenceDay #15thAugust

Why not to be a Parent?

We are all puppets in the hands of culture and tradition. As soon as you hit your twenties, or may be sometimes even earlier, parents start looking for a suitable suitor. But just getting married isn’t enough. As soon as you get married, culture, aka, parents, neighbours, society starts expecting you to have children. And most of us give in. While I strongly believe that one shouldn’t do anything because someone else wants it. But most of all becoming a parent is one decision, if taken for the wrong reasons can ruin your life and your child’s life.

Image by 4144132 from Pixabay

I will talk about what it can do in a separate piece but here are some reasons why not to be a parent:

  • Because you are married
  • Because you are 30 + and your biological clock is ticking
  • Because your parents or in-laws are bored and need grandchildren
  • Because all your friends have one
  • Because you want someone to take care of you when you grow old
  • Because you want someone to continue the family name, your legacy
  • Because you think kids look cute
  • Because your neighbour has one
  • Because you want someone to live your dreams
  • Because your relationship isn’t going well

The only reason you should want to have children is that you love them enough to face your own demons, your own voids, your own vulnerabilities and grow from there. Because let’s face it – your kid is going to show you a mirror to each one of those holes and trigger you and then you will blame the child.

Be a parent only when you are ready for this transformative process.

Thanks for reading.

Happy Mother’s Day 2021

Happy #MothersDay!

But wait!
What’s there to be happy about?

Mother’s are not OKAY

Mothers are TIRED

Mothers are EXHAUSTED

Mothers are FRUSTRATED

Mothers are LONELY

Mothers are ANGRY

But you know who can change that?

YOU!!!!!

Live a little for yourself!

Breathe a little for yourself!

Dance a little for yourself!

Dream a little for yourself!

Give a GIFT of LIFE to Yourself!!!

This #mothersday2021, promise to #live a little for #yourself.

Establish habits in 4 easy Steps

Have you ever struggled with getting your child to eat veggies?

Getting them to do homework?

Clearing up their toys

Get ready for school in time

I am sure you are thinking, oh yes, oh yes. I know, we have all been there. And somehow, and I have maintained this throughout my episodes, that if we are struggling with something with our kids, it’s because we aren’t able to understand their thoughts and feelings. Also we don’t know what else to do. It seems like a dead end and that’s why the frustration. It doesn’t have to be this way. So today I will share with you one plan I learned when I did my recent course on The ABC of Parenting from Yale University.

To give you a background, I was struggling with my lo not willing to do her homework or any type of writing activity especially during the pandemic. And after a full day of work yourself, you don’t have the patience to make it fun and be all upbeat and playful about it. You just want to get it done, click a picture, send it to the teacher and be done with it. So what did I do? This course that I did shared a beautiful programme that can be applied to kids when setting up new habits. So here’s what the programme looks like step by step.

Step 1: Identify the goal behaviour. In my case it was her completing one page homework every day.

Step 2: Now the next step is to create a prompt, something that would help shape the behaviour. So for example, in an enthusiastic tone, I told her that we will be playing a homework game where mamma will give a page to write and then a star or smiley once she finishes. Most children will join in just because of the enthusiasm.

Step 3: Next and this is crucial, lower your expectations to begin with and subsequently raise the bar. For the first day, even if your child writes one letter, or one line and has joined you with enthusiasm, it’s a win for you. The most important part of this learning for me was to identify that writing one page would a 4-5 year might be hard, howsoever simple we may think it is. So start small and build it up. It’s like how you establish an exercise habit. You don’t run the whole 5 miles on day 1. You build it up. So keep your focus on the fact that your child joins the activity without resistance.

Step 4: Once your child has finished the activity, praise him or her and give reward. Whatever you think is best. I just gave smileys and stars.

This programme worked like magic for him. No more nagging, crying, yelling. Simply make a request and get it done. Now the next question you may have is how long can this go. You can keep raising the bar for completion of the activity every few days and stop once the desired outcome is achieved. You can use this method to set up any habit. Feel free to reach out me if you are struggling to set up any habits. I will be sure to help you.

Stop Glorifying Women

I saw this graphic on social media a few days back. Of course, it was posted to glorify the role, and selfless acts of a Mother.

But honestly speaking, I find this disturbing.

Why do we need to glorify that the mother is taking care of the son even though she has a drip running?

When will it be glorified that a woman is taking care of herself?

When will it be normal for the child to take care of himself or herself?

When will it be okay for us Moms to act like our children know if they are feeling cold or not? We probably taught them better, didn’t we?

It’s time we change these stereotypes. It’s time we change the “normal”. And the normal is that each one takes care of themselves; only minor and bed-ridden seniors need to be taken care of.

In fact, we all, across all ages have emotional needs, we all need someone to talk to. And that should be the priority. Maybe we should start creating graphics where we said “Mom, I am here to talk to you” or “Wifey, I am here to just spend time with you.” Or Mom is happy, doing the things she loves (not necessarily living for other people)

This idolization absolves anyone of any responsibility to improve our lives and is heavily titled in the favour of the society. One person is toiling, and you glorify them so they would continue to serve you. Women need to get smarter to avoid this trap. We need to establish stricter boundaries and look after ourselves when needed and do what we can.

Do what you can, the world will adjust.

UReInvent Hall of Fame

We are almost at the end of this year. But we can’t close this year before thanking all the generous experts who helped provide valuable inputs to help improve our live. Many many thanks Dr Geeta Sethi, Dr. Shubha Dube, Alka Saxena, Jiveshdeep Singh Sandhu and Anuradha Pradhumnan. Eternally Grateful!

Looking forward to more such conversations in 2021.

A Health Gift for Your Child

So this will start as a personal rant, but I hope to bring some value to everyone reading this. I have been suffering from a frozen shoulder for a few months, and lately, I encountered another herniated disc. Since this was not the first time, I was quickly able to take action and have already begun to feel better. But there was one thing that hurt more than the pain itself.

That was not being around my child the way I would like to. To make matters worse, I was getting irritated when she tickled me or bounced upon me (you see, it hurt too much even to move). And during one of those instances, she said, “But I just want to play with you.” And my heart broke in a million pieces because I wasn’t able to. L

So, why am I sharing all this with you all – because our kids need healthy, fit, available parents more than anything else. I want to take this moment to request you to be mindful about your health, as much as I will be going forward. I was working on my health even before this episode, but now the resolve is stronger; the need is urgent.

Here are some tools that I use, and there are a million out there for you to choose from. It’s not important which tool you choose; what’s important is picking one and going from there.

#GoogleFit – to track my heart points.

#headspace – for meditation

#Audible – to listen to some books while I walk

#miraclemorningroutine – a quick #SAVERS routine to be more intentional
about my day/life.

So get started. If there is one thing you can give your children, it is good
health so that you can be present for them.

Here’s to a #healthy life.

It’s all about Perspective

What would you say?

How you respond to your children becomes their inner voice. Be careful of what you say, in fact what you think!

Taking this journey, the conscious way might sound difficult but it’s a lot of fun if you are conscious because there aren’t so many battles to fight. Just some demons within you.

Happy Parenting.

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