We are all puppets in the hands of culture and tradition. As soon as you hit your twenties, or may be sometimes even earlier, parents start looking for a suitable suitor. But just getting married isn’t enough. As soon as you get married, culture, aka, parents, neighbours, society starts expecting you to have children. And most of us give in. While I strongly believe that one shouldn’t do anything because someone else wants it. But most of all becoming a parent is one decision, if taken for the wrong reasons can ruin your life and your child’s life.
I will talk about what it can do in a separate piece but here are some reasons why not to be a parent:
- Because you are married
- Because you are 30 + and your biological clock is ticking
- Because your parents or in-laws are bored and need grandchildren
- Because all your friends have one
- Because you want someone to take care of you when you grow old
- Because you want someone to continue the family name, your legacy
- Because you think kids look cute
- Because your neighbour has one
- Because you want someone to live your dreams
- Because your relationship isn’t going well
The only reason you should want to have children is that you love them enough to face your own demons, your own voids, your own vulnerabilities and grow from there. Because let’s face it – your kid is going to show you a mirror to each one of those holes and trigger you and then you will blame the child.
Be a parent only when you are ready for this transformative process.
Thanks for reading.