Day Dream

She saw herself talking into the mirror way too often in the past. Now that conversation had moved into the office, near the water cooler, living room, kitchen, gym, or let’s say practically everywhere she spent her day. “Yeah, it was tough, to begin with. But I was convinced that it will be fine one day and we will have a great life. I always dreamed of this huge villa set in the green landscape with my own reading space.” … “Oh no! I haven’t done anything great. I have always believed that if you have faith and conviction, you could pass through the worst scenarios with ease.” These lines had kind of become her mantra. I won’t be exaggerating if I say that she has grown up listening to the interview of successful people and those lines were almost part of all of those conversations. She imagined in her mind that the road to becoming big went through suffering. So she felt proud of her suffering, coming out stronger out of each of them. And as she went through each suffering, she thought she was closer to her heaven in more ways than one.
She finally did reach her image of heaven. She was sure happy about it. But with absolutely no energy and enthusiasm to enjoy it. Little did she knew that each of those sufferings would take away an important element from her; to be able to enjoy joy and happiness and dreams. It didn’t matter to her now for the only meaning of life was in suffering. Or life defined itself in the fighting, in the struggle. Because that’s how she rose above her own standards each time; because she identified herself in that fighting.

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