Marriages are made in Heaven

Marriages are made in heaven, or so we have been told. Well they may be made in heaven but they need to be executed right here on Earth with all our frailties and vulnerabilities and assumptions and presumptions. From a very young age, at least for the girls in our country, we are told that one day a prince charming will come and sweep you off your feet and everything will be all right after that. At least that is one reason good enough to marry. Most women of my generation have consciously or subconsciously heard this message. That everything will be all right once you get married. Marriage was the ultimate doorway to happiness. Wow! I don’t even know what to say to that! Imagine how sad that scenario is, we are ripping women off any responsibility for their own happiness. This whole belief is just fundamentally flawed.

There is a dearth of women role models who believe in having it all minus the guilt. Its either this or that and all that at the cost of our own happiness. Like all learning, this also needs to begin at home. We need to role model for our girls and boys that happiness is our responsibility. Otherwise the trouble is we keep hopping from one situation to another looking for that ideal scenario, looking for that Prince Charming who will make everything all right all over again. And that never happens because we forget to water our own grass. We are just continuously looking over the fence for greener pastures.

Like Mark Manson puts it in his book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, “Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of another.” – The important lesson we forget to teach our kids is that it’s never going to be all right – you will have to make it so. Problems will never go away – only the nature of problems will change. We need to find our own calling, feed our own soul and find our own happiness and then enter into a marriage or a relationship. A happy, complete person makes a happy complete relationship. Don’t look to the other person to fill your soul.

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